What’s Wrong with Being a Girl (or a Boy)?

Everywhere I look in the news and on Facebook lately, I see articles about people proclaiming that they are a different gender than the body they were born with. Others proclaim their right to make such claims. I see articles of parents who insist that it is good to raise their children as gender neutral. Supposedly they can raise children, with definite gender specific bodies, with no gender training.

How is that even possible? Boys and girls are different. I’m not talking about what colors they wear. Male and female bodies grow differently. When they approach puberty, those differences become even more noticeable. How do you not teach them about those differences when their bodies are changing differently than their friends? Children and teenagers are curious by nature. How do you convince them those differences are in flux when they are not? And, how can any parent subject their children to medical intervention to stop puberty? That is simply medically dangerous to a child. That is abuse.

But, today, rather than debate something that neither side will budge on, I’d like to approach this subject from a different angle.

What is wrong with being how you were born? What is wrong with being a girl? I don’t mean that a girl has to be frilly and lacy. A girl can wear frills and lace or she can wear jeans and shirts, or even suits or dress pants made to fit a female figure. Male and female anatomy are different after all. She can wear her hair long and curly or she can wear it short. But, she can still be a girl and everything that means. She can be a stay-at-home wife and mother or she can have any career of her choice. And she can still be a girl and everything that means.

What is wrong with being a boy? I don’t mean that a boy has to be all macho, rough and tough without any artistic talents or nurturing instincts. A boy can wear jeans and t-shirts, or he can wear suits and ties. And he is still a boy. I don’t think I can go for a boy wearing dresses and such, because well, he is still a boy, and male and female anatomy are different. A boy can wear his hair long or short and still be a boy. He can work a hard physical job, or work in a corporate office, or work in an artistic career. And he is still a boy.

All of this talk of people thinking they are a different gender than they were born is ridiculous. There is nothing wrong being who you were born. How can you expect others to accept you if you can’t accept yourself?

I am not a frilly, lacy girl. But, I am a girl. I like being a girl. I liked being a wife, except for the abusive behavior of my ex-husband. But, if I found a good man who loved God and loved me as Christ loved the church as the Bible teaches, then I would love being a wife again. I love being a mom. I bore and raised two wonderful kids, a boy, and a girl. I taught them how to be the man and woman of God that the Bible taught me. I wear pants, but they are women’s pants. The same goes for shirts. They just wouldn’t fit a man’s anatomy. I wear my hair short, but it’s a haircut that accentuates my face, not whatever is the current fad. Once in a while, I wear a skirt or dress just because I choose to do that, not because I’m required to wear one. No one has ever mistaken me for a boy. Yes, I dealt with gender inequality in the workplace. But the solution isn’t to change my gender. The solution is to fight the discrimination by fighting for gender equality. My generation has won great victories in this even if we haven’t won all of them.

But, seriously, what is wrong with being a girl or a boy? Why do people have to be so contrary? And raising a child without teaching them your faith is bad enough, but not teaching them how to understand their bodies is just plain abuse. Our bodies are different for a reason, meant to work together. The human race needs both male and female, real male and female, not those who are surgically manipulated to be one or the other, in order to survive and thrive. After all, medicine and science teach us that two males or two females cannot produce a child independently. It’s just not medically or scientifically possible.

And, once again, what is wrong with being a girl or a boy? I don’t mean just accepting that you are a girl or a boy, but celebrating that you are a girl or a boy.

These beliefs that there is no such thing as a gender, inborn from conception, is simply not realistic. Regardless of whether you believe in God, which I do, it is a fact that when babies are born they are born either male or female. And, no teaching can change that reality. No surgery can change what a person is at the chromosome level, and all the surgery in the world can’t change your chromosomes.

I’d like to see real women stand up and celebrate that we are women. We are smart and talented and unique and gifted and beautiful in our own individual way.

I’d like to see real men stand up and celebrate that they are men. They are smart and talented and unique and gifted and handsome in their own individual way.

We don’t have to be something different because society is pushing a different belief. We need to learn to be tolerant of one another as we are individuals, but we need to be totally intolerant of teachings that feed poison into us regarding who we were born to be.

When a teaching says that who you were born to be is wrong or is not enough then that teaching is harmful. It’s not supporting you. It’s insulting you.

I encourage everyone to take joy in who you born to be. I was born a girl and rejoice in being a girl. I don’t need a psychologist to help me deal with that. I don’t need surgery or medicine to make me something else. I don’t need to make myself over into something else to please anyone. And if anyone expects that of me then they don’t respect me as a person.

So, one last time. What is wrong with being a girl or being a boy?

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Why do you work?

When I was a child there was a commercial on television marketing a new thing in fast food restaurants, the drive through. Like all commercials it had a theme song. That theme song went like this. “Get up, go to work, come home, go to bed; get up, go to work, come home, go to bed………” On and on it went, repeating itself in a sing-song fashion. The idea of the commercial was extol the benefits of starting your day with a fresh, hot breakfast that you could eat in your car while you drove to work. The line in the drive through went around the building and people availed themselves of this new trend day in and day out as they hurried to their jobs in the rat race in the city. That trend has become commonplace in today’s world so that we become impatient if the fast food line doesn’t move fast enough.

Even as a child I remember thinking, “What an awful way to live, doing the same thing, day in, day out, without any change, with your entire focus in life only on your work.”

A few years ago a supervisor where I worked was promoted to manager and as part of her promotion brought each of her employees in to her office to discuss their career plans. When she brought me in she asked me, “Mina, why do you work? Do you work to live or do you live to work?” Then she went on to say, “For myself, I live to work.”

I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from telling her how sorry I was that she felt that way. Instead I told her that I work to live. I don’t think that’s what she wanted to hear but that was truly how I felt. It’s still how I feel. Regardless of what type of job I work my work is only one part of my life. There is an old childhood rhyme that said, “All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy.” Simply put, if all we do is work even work that we love then our lives are narrow and limited and dull.

God created us to have full lives. He created us with talents and skills, with needs and desires, and with goals and plans to meet both personal and professional. In my own life I have family I adore, my God to serve, a job that provides and talents I am developing. I cannot imagine any of these parts of my life missing.

A life lived without people you care about is void of love. A life lived without a relationship with your God is void of purpose. A life lived without a means to earn a living is destined to poverty and want. A life lived without developing your own unique talents is destined to drudgery.

Why do I work? I work my job to provide income to live. Life requires a means of financial support for food, clothing and shelter. But, living is more than working a job. Living must include people you love. Love is something that blesses both the one who loves and the one who is loved. Whether it is blood relations or people who have chosen to love one another the human heart requires the sharing of love with others. Without love the human heart will surely die.

Living must include having a relationship with your God. How can you live and not have a relationship with the one who gave you life, gave you strength, gave you every ounce of who and what you are? I can’t imagine life without my creator God, without my Savior Jesus and without my Holy Spirit Comforter to teach me, guide me and comfort me through all of life’s challenges. Without a relationship with God the human spirit will surely die.

Living must include developing your own unique talents, whatever they may be. Each of us is born with certain innate, unique talents, talents that are as natural to us as breathing. Some of us are gifted in the arts; some in building and planning, some in leadership. But, whatever our area of giftedness we must develop that gifting if we are to become everything that God created us to be. Without developing our unique gifts and talents the human character will surely die.

So, my faithful readers, why do you work?

 

 

Thankful

This week we celebrate Thanksgiving and I have much to be thankful for in my life. First and foremost I am thankful that I am saved by the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ. We all go through difficulties in our lives and I can’t imagine facing the trials of life without the grace and strength of my Lord. The Bible states that the joy of the Lord is my strength therefore my relationship with Christ is the source of my strength.

I am thankful for my two grown children, their spouses and my four wonderful grandchildren. Although I raised my children alone after a divorce caused by domestic abuse, they have grown up to love and to serve God; they have happy marriages, successful careers and are raising their children to love God as well. My children are my greatest blessing in this life. It is an honor being mother and grandmother and I love spending time with them and watching them grow in the Lord daily.

I am thankful for the gift of writing God has granted me. It is a joy to be able to use this creative gift to inform, to instruct, and to entertain others. Whether I am writing an article to publish, a speech to help someone express themselves, a class to teach or a story to entertain, the passion to write gives me great joy. Although I developed a love to read at a very young age and my English skills were always strong I didn’t begin to write until after my divorce. My overwhelming emotions required an outlet and were expressed through writing.

Over the years my writing developed from a private outlet to a means to boost my self-esteem and is now a small business for me. My goal now is to continue to develop my writing so that in every way possible it will become my full-time source of income. There’s an old saying that goes, “Find what you love to do and you will never work a day in your life.” Well, writing is what I love to do and what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I thank God daily for these and other blessings in my life.

It’s Never Too Late

 

Are there dreams you still want to experience? Are there plans and goals you have almost given up on? What kind of reasons have you given yourself to give up? Do you tell yourself your too old, too tired, too, what? We’ve all heard about millionaires who didn’t even try to get rich until they retired, like Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken. But, do you know a real person who has done something wonderful and dramatic after a certain age? If not then celebrity stories may seem a little too far removed from you for reality. Well, let me tell you about a friend of mine who is as real a person as you and me.

Carolyn Williams has been divorced and she’s been widowed. She was a single mother for many years and remarried about two years ago. Soon after that she accomplished another feat; she published her first book, Mystery in the Pines through Tate Publishing. She and her husband travel around the United States, schedule book signings everywhere they go as well as regularly attending local fairs of all kinds to promote her book. Her husband is her best promoter. They are deeply in love and still act like newlyweds. You’d never know they were senior citizens. Neil is 74 and Carolyn is 69. They live life with a zest and joy that comes straight from God.

So, what is holding you back from chasing your dream?

Jack of All Trades, Master of None

     Jack of All Trades, Master of None was a phrase my father used quite often when I was growing up. What he meant was that he didn’t have a big, fancy college degree; he didn’t even have a high school diploma. What he had was a lifetime of experience learning to do whatever was necessary to survive.

     I remember a story my dad told me about when he was growing up in the county orphanage. His father had died when he was two and his mother when he was nine and his step father placed him in the orphanage soon after. In an orphanage every child had a chore to do. That’s how they earned their keep. My father’s job at the age of ten was washing dishes. He was too small to do any of the bigger work that most of the boys did. One day a man came into the kitchen and asked if anyone knew how to operate a certain piece of farm machinery. “I do,” my dad chimed in. My father didn’t know one thing about that piece of machinery. What he did know was that he was not going to be stuck in the kitchen another day.

     We live in a challenging employment environment. There are articles that abound with advice about how to survive in today’s employment situation. The advice can range from encouraging to down-right depressing but also confusing as one tries to sort it out. Should you specialize or should you vary your expertise? How should you market yourself? Each person must answer these questions for themselves and the answers may change as their circumstances change. In my personal experience though, a person who is a Jack of All trades may not have a high power career, but they will always be employable.